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I finally get it. I attended a kids Christmas concert at a church over the weekend and now fully understand why Rosie O’Donnell and other religious fearing liberals emphatically point out that Christians are just as big a threat as radical Islam. I can only speak from experience but will be glad to generalize based on the consensus of like minded peers.

The first sign that this would be a dangerous event was the fact that I was forced to attend a Christmas concert in an actual chapel within full view of crosses, Christmas trees and various posters celebrating the birth of Jesus. Imagine my horror when I saw that there was a perfectly ample amount of space in one of the church’s empty assembly rooms that wouldn’t have had nearly as much of a proselytizing affect as that of the chapel. Won’t these Christians ever stop?

Matters were made worse by the song selection. Silent night, HOLY NIGHT???? The material chosen was blatantly religious and very very preachy. I cringed at the the thought that some of the people in attendance might actually leave the concert and attempt to tell it on the mountain. Not only would that be an attempt to force their views on someone else but I bet none of them considered how dangerous mountains can be in the winter. I feel we must act quickly to stop this reckless behavior.

Thankfully the kids sang a wonderful couple of songs that spoke about love without mentioning the word God or Jesus. But all that flew out the window when one of the younger children sang a song from simpler times, I think it was called “Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah”. That was uncomfortable. Sure, the song doesn’t celebrate Jesus but nothing in this country will be “satisfactual” until that war criminal, Mr. Chimpy Chimperson himself, George W. Bush is impeached and put behind bars. Wonderful feeling my ass!

There was one particularly threating moment when everyone in the audience was asked to join the kids in a sing-a-long. We were pressured to stand up and sing Joy To The World as the lyrics scrolled across a giant movie projection screen.

Sheesh. At least they got the gender of the earth right.

I didn’t let them rope me in though. I moved my lips to make it appear as if I was joining the crowd but couldn’t wait for the lemmings to stop acting so joyously. I felt like one of those horrendous madrigal word painters where everybody sings to everyone else surrounding them with affected grins and exaggerated head nods. Some people even clapped!! They all seemed so happy; it really was beginning to crimp my holiday spirit.

Thankfully the concert lasted only a couple of hours. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and tell everybody about this tremendous threat. We can’t let these people think this way. Next thing you know they will be thinking about God during moments of silence in school. I’ve seen this before as I grew up in a Catholic school. The faces these people make when thinking about eternal salvation is all I need to know. I can feel myself being excluded from their afterlife party. I see them feeling sorry for me by the look in their eyes; “Sinner, repent and yea shall be saved”. They may not say it but sure as shit they are thinking it. This has got to be stopped!

For the life of me I can’t imagine why those wing nuts are going around scaring the world with their lies about radial Islam when the real threat from Christianity is growing in their own back yard. Join up now and help stop these people before they raise more kids in the name of “God”. Support the ACLU, tear down those Nativity scenes, end racial profiling, speak out against Israel, stop moments of silence in schools, remove God from our currency, shield your daughters from purity dances, remove “Under God” from the pledge, go see The Golden Compass, stop teaching abstinence and by all means vote Democratic in 2008. Our liberal lives depends on it!

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