Webloggin » Skip The Reef:Movie Review

Over the weekend I rented The Reef for my 2-year-old. She was attracted to the cover of cartoon fish that looked a lot like a Nemo type of adventure. Unfortunately, that’s where the Nemo comparisons end. Whereas Finding Nemo is a wonderful, family-friendly, movie with lots of laughs and good times, The Reef is an insipid, inappropriate, boring, piece of garbage.

The description on Amazon says,

After losing everything, a young fish, Pi, goes to live with his family on the Reef. There he meets the love of his life but finds that she already has the unwanted affections of a bully shark. He must follow his destiny to save her and rid the Reef of this menace for good.

Here’s the real story. First we start off in the disgustingly dirty Boston Harbor. Complete with three-eyed fish and mercury jokes. Then, Pi leaves to find this pristine reef after losing his parents to evil fishermen. When he gets there, he is overcome with lust for this “supermodel” fish, who resembles Lisa Rinna with her overstuffed lips. It’s all rather boring and uneventful until the scene with the unquestionably gay hair and makeup fish. One of them says,

“I wish I had 2 boys fighting over me.”

Replies another fish “What did he say?”

This was the moment I turned it off. I can put up with the environmental garbage but I cannot allow movie producers to push homosexuality on my toddler.

Here’s what bothers me the most about it. As a parent, I believe you are entitled to teach your child whatever your values are regarding sexuality. It’s none of my business if you want to give your son dolls and your daughter trucks. And I don’t care if you read them Molly has two Daddys or whatever mind-melded crap you want to. You will have to explain your parenting methods when you meet your Maker face-to-face. So I don’t care what you teach your family in your home. However, the minute you start trying to teach my child depravity disguised as cartoon fish, that’s when I get angry.

Toddlers, even kindergartens and above are not ready to discuss adult topics like sexuality! Homo, hetero or other! What is the rush to “educate” our babies into adulthood so quickly? I hear people say that they knew they were gay at the age of 5. I don’t believe it. Every 5-year-old thinks “girls are yucky” or vice-a-versa. There is no sexual interest or understanding at that point. (And if there is, that child has definitely been sexually abused.) And to pretend that a baby needs to be apprised of the complications of this life at such an early, unspoiled time in their lives is an abomination to common sense and an abomination to the very thing we call childhood.

If you should find yourself at the Blockbuster soon, avoid The Reef and rent Finding Nemo instead.

[Discuss this article with The Intolerant Fox...]

Share This Article With Others: