Juking Penguins for the Holidays

Someone, my brother-in-law to be exact, showed my daughter Happy Feet over Thanksgiving and since then, I’ve heard nothing but “feet! feet! feet!” from her. So, not having seen the film myself but trusting my family’s judgment, my husband went and bought the dvd for the little one. I sat down to watch it with her the other day. Now, I must preface this and tell you that I had heard from Rush how liberal Happy Feet is, BUT, he said he bought it for his nephews and nieces to watch at his house because they love it so much. So I figured, if the Maha Rushie allows it on his TV, how bad can it be?

Unbelievably bad. What assaulted my senses was a barrage of overt sexuality, wacko environmentalism, pro-illegal immigration propaganda and plenty of Christian-bashing sprinkled on top.

The very first number is a Prince song! Imagine penguins gyrating to these lyrics:

“Don’t have to be beautiful to turn me on. I just need your body baby, from dusk till dawn…give it to me!”

My thoughts: uh….WHAT?

Then, one rapping penguin breaks out into “Lets talk about X baby, let’s talk about you and me!” But of course we all know the lyrics are “let’s talk about sex baby” not X. Later on, there are penguins juking (for those of you oldies out there, juking, according to the urban dictionary means “dancing with a girl’s butt on a boy’s crotch area”) complete with butt-slapping. This is the result of the sexual education over-kill regime. Hollywood is now getting into the game of educating preschoolers about sexual behavior with gyrating, gesticulating penguins.

Moving on to the environmental angle, one of the penguins gets his neck stuck in a six pack plastic holder. This leads the penguins to discuss the elusive “aliens” that could be responsible for the garbage and for a fish shortage. The elder penguins, however, believe it is because the penguins have displeased God. They berate the younger penguins for doing outrageous dance moves and tell them to pray harder. These elder penguins are always calling the lead penguin a “backslider” and eventually they kick him out of the fold. It is juvenile in it’s transparency. I’m surprised the elders weren’t named Jerry Fallwell and Pat Robertson.

Then there’s the South American penguins that the elders don’t want. They speak with thick Mexican accents and are very short. (Why the Hispanic community isn’t suing, I have no idea.) The elders talk about them as though they are a blight on the penguin community while the rest of us can clearly see that they are fun and funny and a delight to have around. But since the elders are intolerant and blinded by hatred, they kick out the illegal immigrant penguins with the juking backslider.

They then embark on a journey to find the “aliens” to reason with them about the fish shortage. On a non-political note, the movie at this point just becomes very depressing. For a children’s film, there’s way too much suffering. The journey is so hard and so long, and the weather is terrible and when they get to where they’re going they’re attacked by killer whales, then one of the penguins is captured and put in a zoo where he goes insane with loneliness and the list goes on. There is nothing “happy” about Happy Feet.

I won’t go on and describe the entire movie. I think you get the point. Happy Feet is a liberal fairytale where humans are aliens who don’t belong on the planet, Christians are old and tired and should be dismissed, and everyone should get their juke on whenever they feel like it with whomever they feel like it.

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