Webloggin » Dumbass Gets Reprieve

It would be fair to say that criminals have it made. Gone are the days of hanging the bad guys high in the streets. Today, criminals get long, drawn out court process, endless appeals, and eventual time off for “good behavior”.

Over Memorial Day Weekend, my sister, my child and I went to the local Blockbuster for a movie. What we got instead was an X-rated show we didn’t order and wish we had never seen. As we pulled up to the store, a man was walking by our car when he saw us and started grabbing himself and simulating masturbation while rushing at the driver’s side door. I should have hit him with my car. That would have been easier. I called 911 instead.

The first thing that went wrong was my fault. I asked the dispatcher if I should wait to talk to the cops. ALWAYS talk to the cops if you want them to arrest someone. She said they’d come to me if they needed me. Well, they left before I got to talk to them and the Dumbass told them he was “reaching for a pack of cigarettes” so they let him go.

Then came the dance with the police. I called to report what happened and press charges. They wouldn’t return my call. When I finally went in and demanded to file a complaint they were very adamant with me that if I was not going to show up in court I should not even report it because it would be a waste of everyone’s time. I agreed wholeheartedly, gave my word I would be there and we did the paperwork.

When I got to the courthouse today and checked in with the bailiff, she looked confused and conferred with the clerk who proceeded to tell her that this case has been continued until August 13. No one bothered to tell me this. I did my duty and showed up to prosecute a Dumbass, I arranged for a sitter, got up early, and drove into a scary neighborhood all for a continuance. No wonder people don’t show up! If this is the kind of disorganization and downright rude behavior one has to put up with, who would go through the aggravation? I will be there for the next date because I am not the kind of person you victimize with no consequences. (Keep this in mind all you future thugs…stay away from me. I have a .45 and a shovel and I doubt anyone will miss you.)

Not only was the courtroom disorganized, the people working in it looked like they should be working in a factory. (Nothing against people who work in factories…but you know what I mean.) Maybe the reason no one has any respect for the law is because its representatives wear flip flops in the court room. The State’s Attorney was wearing the schlumpiest suit I’ve ever seen. It was 3 sizes too large and plaid. Her shoes were scuffed, black, flat gym shoe looking things that NO ONE should wear…EVER. Her hair hadn’t seen a brush in about a week and she was in desperate need of some lipstick. When you represent any great State of the Union, shouldn’t you look as if you have authority? She never once looked me in the eye the whole time we spoke. There was no one with any authority in this room at all. I’m tempted to call What Not to Wear. You can’t tell me that a State’s Attorney doesn’t make enough to buy a nice suit! It makes me want to get a law degree simply to bring a little polish back to the halls of justice.

Here’s the most aggravating part. I talked to my police contact and he said the court did not contact him either and the Dumbass has a record of dissapearing. Some smarmy lawyer got a continuance for a guy who is known to leave the state. GREAT. What kind of judge gives a continuance to a Dumbass who is a flight risk? My contact went on to inform me that one of the judges THROWS OUT case after case if his police officers are not available, even though they are right upstairs in another court room testifying on another case! The judge won’t continue a case 10 minutes to allow the officers to walk downstairs! I guess he doesn’t want justice to interrupt his lunch schedule. (New slogan submission for Chicago: Welcome to Cook County. How may we screw you?)

I’ve had three experiences trying to convict criminals. The first time, the judge dismissed the charges even though there were several witnesses to the crime AND the stolen goods were found in the defendant’s home. The second case has been dragging out in court for 4 years because the defense lawyers keep getting continuances. One of the complaintants has died already. I think they’re waiting for the rest of us to kick it. The third doesn’t look much better.

What kind of degenerate do you have to be to be a defense attorney? I believe everyone deserves a fair trial, but it is NOT fair to use delay tactics, holes in the law, technicalities, etc…to get a guy off when he very well might be, and probably is, guilty!
I believe I have the answer. When a criminal is found guilty, the defense lawyer should pay a fine equal to the amount of his fees to the victim or the victim’s families. This would discourage dishonest lawyers from defending guilty people just for the money. And judges who refuse to do their jobs, i.e. applying the law equally and fairly, should be tossed off the bench and into the defense chair on charges of gross negligence and deriliction of duty.

I believe I’m going to solicit my sister for her thoughts on this matter. A former judge and family attorney, she’s the right one to ask. Would anyone else care to comment?

[Discuss this article with Little Fox over at the Intolerant Fox...]

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