Webloggin » Chinese Crap OUT, American Crap IN

I have a brilliant, dare I say genius, solution to the poisonous crap coming out of China. Lots of us don’t want to buy lead-laced toys for our kids to suck on, but can’t afford to buy fancy-pants priced items made somewhere else. While listening to Michael Medved today, I had an epiphany. The big problem is that American companies have outsourced their manufacturing to China because the Chinese pay 8-year-olds .08 cents an hour to sew Elmos together and ship them here while American unions force companies to pay uneducated factory workers (with vocabularies of an average 8-year-old) upwards of $10-$15 an hour. This, of course, drives the prices way higher than the general public wants to pay.

Enter my frabjastic idea. I can do better than .08 cents an hour. How about .00 cents an hour? Free labor. Right now, in prisons all over America, capable hands sit idly, lifting weights, making shivs, violating their roomates…and they’re ours for the taking! I say we offer up the incarcerated population to all the toy companies as free labor! Why shouldn’t they earn their keep? I’d rather my tax money go for training inmates on how to build a lead-free Tickle-Me-Elmo than to their cable-porn habits, wouldn’t you? Get them up in the morning, get them on a bus, take them to the factory, put them in shifts around the clock and start pumping out those American-made toys for all of us to enjoy at Walmart!

Not only will this solve the Chinese competition problem, but it will give inmates some real skills they can apply in the world (other than shooting up or shooting folks) and maybe deter some would-be criminals who would rather not work an assembly line for 10 to 20.

This may be the best idea anyone has ever had. (Besides electricity.)

One thing is for sure. Our dependency on China is as toxic as our dependancy on terrorist oil. They’re both killing us. America is a great nation with untapped resources and the capability of being totally self-sufficient. Why don’t we just do it?

[Discuss this article with LIttle Fox over at The Intolerant Fox...]