Webloggin » Barack Obama Hires Archie Bunker as Advisor to “Even The Playing Field for Disaffected Whites”

PHILADELPHIA — Despite the girlish squeals of Chris Matthews over the “big speech” at the National Constitution Center the Obama campaign is continuing its efforts to smooth over race relations with the estimated 30% of voters that view Mr. Obama more negatively in the wake of controversial and bigoted comments by longtime spiritual advisor Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr.

In a surprise move that came just hours after Mr. Obama’s address the campaign released a memo announcing the immediate addition of Archie Bunker as “special liaison to the white folk”.

Some see this as an olive branch to the white community that feels disaffected after learning that Mr. Obama spent 20 years in a church that frequently blamed “the rich white man” for the problems faced by African American communities. By placing a white inner city working class bigot on his staff the Obama campaign believes that they can demonstrate to white voters that bigots of all creed and color are allowed into Mr. Obama’s inner circle.

“It’s a racial stalemate I’ve been looking to avoid for years,” Mr. Obama said. “Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy — particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.”

An Obama campaign spokesperson who wished to remain anonymous said that the campaign needs a good infusion of the conservative like Archie Bunker type mentality. “It’s time to even the playing field. For too long we have been applauding the sermons of Reverend Wright as he damned the country and cursed the white guy.”

Mr. Gibbs added, “once America learns that we have hired a white guy that has a considerable record of racist remarks in his past we hope the attention will shift away from reverend Wright and back onto the rhetoric of unity.”

Still, there remains some “nervousness over Senator Obama” among certain voters and others that might become insulted by the addition of a narrow minded white guy that appears racist to some.

Mr. Bunker has been overheard by many in his old neighborhood who recalled the derogatory way he addressed his son-in-law Mike Stivic as a meat headed Pollock. But he seemed to save his most bitter remarks for his African American neighbor George Jefferson of whom he once quipped “If your spics and your spades want their rightful share of the American dream, let ‘em get out there and hustle for it like I done.”

Mr. Bunker also made a statement that the Obama campaign hopes will appeal to many right of center voters in what is now referred to as his Bicentennial Minute.

“That ain’t the American Way, buddy. No, siree. Listen here, professor. You’re the one who need an American History lesson. You don’t know nothin’ about Lady Liberty standin’ there in the harbor, with her torch on high screamin’ out to all the nations in the world: “Send me your poor, your deadbeats, your filthy.” And all the nations send ‘em in here, they come swarming in like ants. Your Spanish P.R.’s from the Caribboin, your Japs, your Chinamen, your Krauts and your Hebes and your English fags. All of ‘em come in here and they’re all free to live in their own separate sections where they feel safe. And they’ll bust your head if you go in there. *That’s* what makes America great, buddy.”

It is this kind of rhetoric that the Obama campaign hopes will shift the focus off the atmosphere at Barack Obama’s Trinity United Church of Christ and back onto the traditional focus of rich white republicans that has proven to be a reliable comfort zone for supporters of the Senator from Illinois.

Mr. Obama made it clear that he did not agree with all the comments Mr. Bunker has made in the past but reaffirmed that we as Americans must be tolerant of even the most divisive of messages. “I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community,” Mr. Obama said.

It remains to be seen if the addition of Mr. Bunker will allay the fears of voters. The Obama campaign stated that they are still looking for advisers of other ethnicities that will calm the fears of those who will possibly be affected by Jeremiah Wright and Archie Bunker. The campaign released another memo this morning indicating that they are looking for some Hispanic representation. One campaign worker responded “Es not my job, man” when asked why he wasn’t a potential candidate for the role. The search continues.